POST YOUR WORST REVIEWS HERE - BASK IN THE BILE - HELEN FITZGERALD

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POST YOUR WORST REVIEWS HERE - BASK IN THE BILE

We've all had 'em, and let's face it, they make us bitter, twisted, suicidal and angry.

Here's my worst review:

1.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant premise, disappointing delivery, 29 Sep 2011

This review is from: The Donor (Kindle Edition)

... I got the feeling Helen Fitzgerald disliked them as much as the reader does.
The most positive thing I can say about it is that it's mercifully short.

Post yours here - go on - bask in the bile.

22 responses
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8 months ago Ray Banks responded:

The story line was flooded with characters who also had multiple nicknames. It made following the plot cumbersome and disjointed. I think a fold out schematic of characters would have helped somewhat. But in the end the writing style was slanted to a thin slice of readers in the UK that I couldn't identify. It was clear to me that the author needs to take some basic writing classes.

8 months ago Sergio Casci (Facebook) responded:

One of my favourites: "I suppose the writer likes to believe he's written some deeply creative, thought-provoking, psychological wonderpiece, but in reality it's a jumbled mess of character, and events that have some relationship known only to the clown who wrote this train wreck of a movie."

8 months ago Helen FitzGerald responded:

Good one Ray and Sergie! Like group therapy.

8 months ago Hannah responded:

Critics get bad reviews too: I was once reading an online discussion about UK film writers, and came across a lady saying 'The one I really hate is Hannah McGill. Can't stand anything she says or does; hate her on TV, hate her on the radio, hate her in print.'
Or words to that effect.
This was years ago and I still occasionally think of it and shudder. It is the reason that I never, never Google myself.

8 months ago Helen FitzGerald responded:

That's hilarious Hannah. Please teach me how to stop Googling myself.

8 months ago Luca Veste (Facebook) responded:

Thankfully haven't been reviewed as yet...but I did receive a few emails from angry Dennis Lehane fans after posting a slightly (and I mean slightly!) negative review of his latest novel.

One read...

U couldnt do it so why have u got the right to say anythin. Dennis is the best. i hope your site fails. no one reads it anyway. dont read any of his books again. u are not good enuf to read them.

The other one wished me blind so I couldn't read anymore. Which was nice of them!

8 months ago Helen FitzGerald responded:

Fantastic Luca. Oh to have fans like that!

8 months ago Anna Burnside responded:

I was reading the comments under a piece I'd written on Judy Murray and someone who disagreed with my (actually very measured and deliberately unsexist UNLIKE OTHER JOURNALISTS) analysis of their relationship shared the opinion that my mother had forgotten to pick me up from school, leaving me bitter and twisted.
On the good side - at least there were some comments.
I won't be reading this thread any more, in case someone posts something terrible written by me, which has ruined their life.

8 months ago Luca Veste (Facebook) responded:

I would bodyslam someone who disliked The Donor though. Silly people.

8 months ago Helen FitzGerald responded:

You'll be busy body-slamming, Luca!

8 months ago Helen FitzGerald responded:

Called you Hannah, Anna - oops. Deleted and writing again - I promise not to hold it against you if you ruin my life!

8 months ago Luca Veste (Facebook) responded:

I don't mind, they'd deserve it.

Mind, a few people mentioned the ending of The Donor. Think it's a love or hate thing for it I suppose.

8 months ago Helen FitzGerald responded:

Endings are tough, hey, Luca. Sometimes nice and neat is right, sometimes impossible.

8 months ago Luca Veste (Facebook) responded:

Indeed. But I loved the ending of The Donor, so I'm biased in my opinion of it I suppose.

I have a collection coming out this week. I already know someone will mention the endings to some of the stories seem rushed. Always struggle with them in short stories, never mind novels!

8 months ago Helen FitzGerald responded:

Uh-oh (Luca)

8 months ago Luca Veste (Facebook) responded:

I'm hoping the other 1000 odd words in them will make up for them. Also hoping it's just my self-critical eye on them.

I need to email you anyway. Have a request.

8 months ago Helen FitzGerald responded:

Thought you meant mine! Email away.

7 months ago Dorte H responded:

What about this one-star review for a FREE SHORT STORY:

I didn't feel there was enough to this story. I think the premise was good, but it really needed more to the story in order to make me feel like I spent my time wisely.

Dorte H.

7 months ago Paul D Brazill responded:

This is for the first short story in a series. One out of five stars:
'Sounded like a fun book and 9 good reviews. Don't believe the reviews. No plot. No story. Just ended?? Killed 6 bad guys and an alien. Twenty minute read. Not worth the dollar I paid for it.'

Fair dos!

7 months ago Helen FitzGerald responded:

I'm reading that one Paul D!

7 months ago Kevin Wignall responded:

I love the ones that are simply wrong - a German review which upbraids me for saying you can see the Alps from Stuttgart (a city which doesn't get a single mention in the book).

And at the moment, I'm getting lots of reviews actually titled "Blood - Book One of the Mercian Trilogy", which go on to say, "I hope there are more books to come because this leaves a lot of questions unanswered".

Btw, congrats on the deal.

7 months ago Helen FitzGerald responded:

Ha Kevin - And cheers

HELEN FITZGERALD - AUTHOR

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